Trusting Myself With You

              

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I have known you for the longest time possible. Well enough that my heart is consumed by this ‘Thing’. This thing that’s love. They say it’s ridiculous to fall in love wholeheartedly but I guess my mind is made up. I know I’m meant to learn more about you. But the thing is I can’t separate my heart’s desires from what my mind has decided on. It’s hard to battle the two.

I’m always up wandering how you’re doing. I wake up, and all I think of is you, I may sound stupid but I can’t help it since you dwell in me. I think of asking if you’re well, if you’re happy, how you’re pushing on, how your day is, if you’re following your dreams. You’re so good, a soul that deserves all the world’s wonderful moments and time. I always want to kiss back the kindness you possess inside you. I want to love you, the exact way you want to be loved. And treat you like the queen you’re.

I have never been this blown away by a love that seems like my whole life. You’re a different kind of gem, that has stolen my concentration and interest. My heart is decided and it’s only right that I trade this path with you. I simply can’t let this slide. And it’s just the way it is. You’re interesting and I won’t let go. I want to know the whole of you. I want to know your insecurities, help you move past them, cut and drain every root of uncertainties with you, kiss your bruised past to a future that holds a path for our dreams.

I want to always sit by myself, think of you, recreate your day with me all over it. I won’t sit and wait for you to come home, I want to come home with you every single day. Welcome you home, get you off your day’s clothes and lay down with you. Look up the roof, put your hands across my chest, and lay in silence. And let the silence build a vibe that’s transferred through our bodies’ reaction. I want to tell myself that you’re my life, the nights I look forward to, the mornings that gear up my days and the days I learn a new thing and continue to grow with.

I want to sit and have monologues about you by myself every single minute. And recreate every single time I get to spend with you. I want to rehearse my life with you line by line every time I get to feel lonely. Tell myself I have a queen in you and it’s us to make things happen. Us to shape the destiny that’s ahead of us. Two of us traveling a journey that only can be determined by our willingness to journey beyond the ups and downs of life.

You’re still bleeding and I’m bleeding too. But I think it’s time we healed enough to let this ‘thing’ grow. It’s something real and all I want to do is see it grow. Let’s break those walls you built around you together. Let’s run over them. We shouldn’t wait for someone else to do so. Let me help you patch every bruise, clean up all the ‘blood’ that’s still gnashing, and cover all the deep holes in your heart with my heart’s love and kindness.

In my head all I want is your name to pop up, have everything with you, all with you. I want to be madly in love and be ready for you. Love you in a way that’s difficult to explain, inspire you to walk this long journey with me. And walk with you til we cross the bridges of life.

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