Holding Myself Down


With a bee like buzz in my head, I go about the thoughts and changes that I have underlined to make. Heaping all the pressure on my shoulders, for responsibilities have become more demanding.
I am not one who holds pressure for a minute because let me be honest I am still under the weather. I suck at being grounded when I meet challenges, boy they surely get the best of my thoughts and energy.

For a while I have fought to contain certain situations in my life but I have unceremoniously failed at all attempts. Not because I don’t do much to control myself. I am the kind who takes life seriously and for this reason I have lost a lot of my energies and precious time that would have been channelled to better the situations at hand.
At certain points of this struggle I have been called in hypertensive.
But one thing for sure I have come to learn throughout this journey is; life at times doesn’t require seriousness but rather a smile even in the darkest of times. Friends, family, even the so called “disgusting” won’t be of help if you can’t treat yourself to a smile. Every struggle in life is a step at bettering the status-quo and rethinking your strategy. Many a time we focus our energies fighting ourselves, fighting the wrong battles and end up losing everything including the grounds we have built foundations for.

My frustrations with life have brought me to think getting my mind worked up is a solution to all the things that keep popping up in my life’s circle. For a while I thought I was right not until I got to learn that life depends on what you want to channel your internal self to do.

With all these constant factors, I have come to teach myself the essence of happiness, self belief, positive vibes, self encouragement and above all spirituality. It can easily be said, a positive mind builds a character and a character builds a strong foundation. A strong foundation equally determines how much you want to see change in your life, seek to be and is a guiding factor for your self’s worth.
I don’t usually take my battles lightly but for once I have learnt to laugh at my problems, make merry of them, drink to them and occasionally pat myself on the back and say all will be well.

At one point tears were a resort because let’s face it; emotions are sometimes unbearable and cap on you like a snow ball melting away. The tears were a short term solution that needed to be backed up by a solid solution, and that effect came in the idea of self evaluation.

Self evaluation came in form of asking questions, what was it that I needed to do with my life, was it to cry every time a battle occurred? or was it facing the battle and fighting it with the right weapons? With the right weapons identified, I set out to challenge myself to keep focused, determined and grounded like never before to face my battles with a smiley face, one that spoke volumes of victory!

Been a couple of years down the road and all I can say is it gets interesting with every step. There’s always a twist of a glorious victor and a still not confident battle warrior. But one thing for sure remains, the journey has to be travelled, conquered and lessons ought to be put into action and a book of life fully read and understood.

For you to understand the real essence of life and its doings, it takes balls to welcome the idea of patience in all situations you’re going through because holding on is the only option you got.


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